A friend called me recently and asked to borrow some tables and chairs that we have. She mentioned that she was reluctant to call and ask me since we haven’t seen each other for several months.

Has this happened to you? You were reluctant to ask or did not ask someone for something you knew they had that could help you out. When did we become a society of givers but reluctant askers and receivers? When did it fall out of favor to ask for help, advice or assistance with something? Why do we feel less than if we need or want other peoples help?

Being independent is a wonderful feeling, but in our complex society we cannot do it all alone. We need other people’s help, advice and expertise.

Here a some tips to help you use the power of asking. They are adapted from Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins and The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. Both are great resources if you want to learn more about the power of asking.

How to Ask Intelligently

1. Ask Specifically for what you want. Be precise about the who, what, where, when and how. You must know clearly what it is you are asking for.

2. Ask Someone who can help you. It would have been unproductive for my friend to call someone and ask to borrow tables and chairs who does not have any to lend. Ask someone who knows what you want to know or has what you need.

3. Create Value for the other person first. Depending on what it is you are asking for, can you offer something in return to the other person? Can you help them, assist them or fill one of their needs somehow? Give in order to get.

4. Ask as if you Expect to get it. You must believe that you can get what you are asking for the that the person you ask can and will help you. Do not ask...You wouldn’t want to

help me would you?

5. Ask Until. The secret to getting what you want is to ask until you get it. If the person you ask cannot help you ask another.

Action Challenge

What specifically do you want or need to ask for in your life?

Who do you need to ask?

If you want something to change in your relationship with your spouse, stop telling you friends about it and ask the person who can do something about it. Most spouses are not mind readers and do not know what your needs and wants are unless you tell them.

If you want something to change at work, stop talking about it with your co-workers and ask someone who can do something about the situation you want to change.

Something To Think About

How does it make you feel when you are asked to help another person out with your time or resources?